Dynamic mapping and integration is a form of couples counseling in which couples learn to see the patterns and cycles of their relationship and create a new map of their relationship dynamic as a tool to identify, heal and improve problem areas of the relationship.
The map includes elements from each person’s family of origin, communication styles, conflict areas and reactions, strength, vulnerabilities and goals.
Couples collaboratively and compassionately integrate new awareness, tools and healthy new pathways to create a happier and peaceful relationship.
INTRO TO DYNAMIC MAPPING - APPROACH
AS THERAPIST I WILL BE:
An Observer, Teacher, a Bridge, Transparent, Genuine and Up front
AS CLIENT YOU WILL BE:
Listened to, Learning, Given your fair share of time, Welcome to bring up anything, Welcome to show emotion, Not yelling at your partner, Not calling your partner names, Asked to do homework (Doing the homework only benefits you and your relationship), Encouraged to prepare for sessions by thinking about what you have been working on, your needs, the positives you observed in your partner and the negatives
1. PRESENTING ISSUES
Couple or individual presents what they are struggling with
a. How long b. What have you tried c. What works (a little?) d. What makes it worse e. How do you see it being resolved
a. What are my strengths as a person and in relationship b. What are my vulnerable areas c. What are my individual goals d. What are my goals for relationship e. How they complement /conflict
a. What are strengths and traumas from family of origin b. Relationship w parents/siblings c. Family roles d. What it wasn’t ok to do e. Unmet needs and trauma response f. How you’ve healed g. Strengths you’ve used
4. UNDERSTANDING DYNAMIC-FAMILY
a. How 1-3 effect your relationship b. What the dynamic looks like c. Flow vs problem areas and why
a. What are your triggers—breaking them down b. Why reality is subjective—new understanding c. Your trigger response and why it happens d. Learning new responses e. Healing the trigger emotional reaction
6. COMMUNICATION STYLES/REPAIRS/WHAT WORKS/WHAT DOES NOT
a. What are your communication styles/how do they interact/what does it mean b. Pulling out what works and using it more often c. Recovering more quickly from hurts and setbacks
7. LOVE LANGUAGES/HOW TO BEST GIVE AND RECEIVE LOVE
a. Love languages and where they come from b. How do our love languages show in our relationship c. What is working and why
8. LOVE BRIDGES
a. What are my Love Bridges (positive triggers toward connection) b. What are my partner’s Love Bridges c. Making it ok to nurture my partner’s Love Bridges d. What gets in the way
9. BEHAVIORS-THOUGHTS-FEELINGS (BTF)
a. Identifying how BTF work and how they are different from one another b. Understanding your individual beliefs and proclivities for BTF c. Seeing and understanding how you and your partner are the same and different here
10. NURTURING THE NEW LOVE
a. Validating and supporting the new positives-what you need b. Why positive validation and support is so critically important c. Care and Compassion—Empathy–love
11. SUSTAINING YOUR NEW RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS
a. Making it a routine b. Self- reinforcement c. What I ask of my partner
a. Asking for what I want and need b. Responding c. Be creative
1. History of you and partner 2. Unmet needs 3. Conflict points 4. Strengths and vulnerabilities 5. What you do-offramps 6. Why it doesn’t work
1. Healing the past damage 2. Understanding what they need and what will work 3. Developing more suitable tools and improved communication 4. Practicing and habituating the new dynamic
Each Person is Unique – Dynamic
Tim O’Donohue is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor.
"I use a combination of Cognitive-Behavioral, Emotionally Focused, Rational Emotive, Dialectical Behavioral, Client Centered and Analysis approaches. After 25+ years of practice and learning, I’ve been able to successfully contextualize the effective components of these approaches to the dynamic and challenges of your particular relationship. I will help you understand the ‘disconnects’ between you and your partner, the dynamic that exists and how to best get in ‘flow’ with each other. A combination of understanding, emotional healing and tools to stay on track and re-establish safety will lead to a deeper connection and re-ignition of passion. I also draw from the works of John Gottman, Harville, Hendrix and others. I often give ‘homework’ to couples. Homework can be practicing new approaches and tools, as it’s not enough to just ‘know’ something."
You will create a conflict map and a flow map of how your relationship dynamic works. This understanding leads to a lowering of resentment and a more compassionate view of each other.
You then collaboratively develop healthy and effective tools for conflict areas. You will see why and how they work to a better outcome for both of you. Finally, you will also receive tools and assistance in planning positive pathways.
The Twelve Week Course
Can 12 weeks make a substantial positive impact on your relationship? ABSOLUTELY! Each week, this course will introduce a new effective concept and strategy.
The Six Week Course
With 25 years of experience working with couples as a licensed clinical counselor, Tim O'Donohue lays out an effective plan to get 100% back in your relationship...
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