Should I See a Therapist for Postpartum Depression?
Motherhood is hard. There’s no doubt about it. The transition from pregnancy to being postpartum can be both rewarding and extremely challenging. Whether this is your first baby or your third, a baby who was born after a complicated birth or a baby who was born after just a few hours of childbirth, you may still be facing postpartum depression.
When society tells us that becoming a mother is all rainbows and butterflies, it can be confusing and make us feel ashamed of ourselves if our experience doesn’t match that. Well-meaning comments like “Enjoy it while it lasts, it goes by so quick!” cut extra deep. We are doing our best to enjoy it - it’s just not working.
Meanwhile, a quick scroll through social media will confirm our deepest fears. Your inner voice says “Everybody else is enjoying being a mother except you. Other women bounce back from birth quickly. She’s thriving in her new role as mother.”
But it’s not that simple. Women are not one-note. Each of us is different, with different experiences and struggles. Postpartum depression is much more common than you may think and it can happen to new moms or experienced moms.
You’re not the first mother to feel like this, and you are certainly not the last. Struggling after the birth of a new baby is widespread, and I hope this article helps to ease some of the mental load you’re carrying and encourages you to reach out for help and support if you need it.
Signs and Symptoms of Postpartum Depression (PPD)
When we hear the word depression, we may assume that it means the person experiencing it is always sad and crying. However, the reality is that there are many other signs and symptoms of PPD that don’t necessarily include feeling sad.
Feelings of anxiety
Constant worry about the baby’s well-being
Feelings of shame and guilt that you aren’t doing enough/being a good mother
Self-isolation
Thoughts of harming the baby or harming yourself
Mood swings
Not caring about or enjoying things you used to love doing
Running on auto-pilot and feeling emotionally numb
If this sounds like you, then you may be wondering whether what you are experiencing qualifies as postpartum depression and whether you should see a therapist.
Postpartum Depression vs. The Baby Blues
Postpartum depression and the phrase “the baby blues” are often used interchangeably, but they are not the same. “The baby blues” typically refers to the first few weeks after the baby is born when a new mother is struggling with hormone fluctuation, adjusting to motherhood, and sleep deprivation. This combination often leads to feelings of overwhelm and sadness. However, the baby blues is a temporary condition that goes away on its own.
Postpartum depression, on the other hand, extends much longer and is a more persistent state of sadness, anxiety, or tiredness. It is considered a serious mood disorder and is often treated with a combination of medication and therapy. It can start right after you’ve had the baby, or weeks or even months later.
Not Just Depression: Other Postpartum Mood Challenges
While postpartum depression is most commonly talked about, some new mothers experience other mood disorders, like postpartum anxiety, OCD, or even (in rare cases) postpartum psychosis. You may feel constantly on edge, obsessively checking on your baby, or paralyzed by irrational fears. These experiences are just as valid and treatable and a mental health professional who specializes in women’s or postpartum issues can help you make sense of what you're going through.
How Can a Postpartum Depression Therapist Help Me?
Having a therapist in your corner makes all the difference when you’re navigating this tricky transition with a new little baby in your life. Seeking help doesn’t mean you’re a bad mother, it means you’re a good one. You might feel guilty for seeking out therapy for postpartum depression, but the reality is that you have to take care of yourself before anybody else. You have to prioritize your own health and well being before you’re able to take care of others around you.
RelationshipStore, our counseling practice in Burr Ridge, has multiple women therapists who specialize in women’s issues, including postpartum depression. We also offer postpartum depression counseling via telehealth throughout Illinois. Our therapists are kind, compassionate, nurturing and know what it’s like to be a new mom.
Whether you are local to Illinois or live elsewhere and are reading this, we encourage you to reach out for support. Whether that’s through your doctor’s office, (who should have therapist and/or psychiatrist recommendations for you), or by picking up the phone and calling a therapist who is local to you, please get the support that you need.
Navigating motherhood can feel impossible at times, and in a time when many of us don’t have a “village” around us to help, we must find other places we can turn to for support. A therapist can help in so many ways and can truly help ease much of the mental burden that you’re carrying around with you.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Postpartum Depression
One of the most effective modalities that your therapist may choose to utilize to help you with your postpartum depression is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT. CBT is one of the most widely recommended treatments for postpartum depression because it's backed by research and proven results.
CBT largely focuses on changing negative thought patterns to improve mental health. Not only is it effective, but it’s also a relatively short-term treatment window (12-16 weeks). Your therapist may teach you tools like behavioral activation — which helps you schedule small, manageable activities that bring you a sense of success, connection, or pleasure. A PPD therapist will also help you develop coping strategies as well as activities that will help build back up your self-esteem.
What Healing Looks Like
Healing from postpartum depression doesn’t always come with a big breakthrough. Most of the time, it’s small changes that build up over time. You might still have hard days, but they don’t feel quite as constant. Some of the heaviness starts to lift.
You may notice you’re snapping less, or not crying every night. You might get through a full day without that foggy, disconnected feeling. Maybe you actually enjoy a walk around the block, or laugh at something silly your partner says. Some parts of you start to come back online.
Taking care of yourself might feel more manageable - you’re showering more, getting dressed regularly, reaching out to a friend, and putting the baby down without guilt so you can take a few minutes for yourself.
Healing doesn’t mean things will go back to how they were. It means that you find a new rhythm that feels more stable and you accept the changes that have come into your life. Not only that, but you will start to see things in a positive light again! Right now, this might sound impossible and like a dream, but it’s not. Working with a postpartum depression therapist can help you get there.
Wondering if You Need Help? A Gentle Check-In
If you answer “yes” to several of these, it may be time to reach out for help.
Do you feel overwhelmed or like you're just going through the motions?
Have you lost interest in things you used to enjoy, like watching a show or going outside?
Are you struggling to bond with or feel connected to your baby?
Do you feel numb, irritable, or on edge more often than not?
Do you feel guilt or shame about how you’re handling motherhood?
Do you find yourself crying frequently or unable to cry even when you feel sad?
Are you experiencing mood swings?
Are you avoiding friends, family, or situations where you would have to pretend everything is okay?
Are you having a hard time caring for yourself and/or the baby?
Do you have thoughts that scare you, like constant worrying that something bad will happen to the baby?
Have you caught yourself thinking, “I just don’t feel like me anymore”?
Do you feel stuck on auto-pilot?
Even if you don’t necessarily have postpartum depression, you may be struggling with some of these symptoms or struggling to have a good relationship with your spouse or with a negative body-image. There are a wide array of changes that you have undergone in a relatively short time, and it can be so overwhelming to handle them on your own.
You deserve support - please do not go on suffering in silence. Whether you're feeling totally overwhelmed or just not quite yourself, therapy can help you find steadier ground again. You can feel like you again, with a little help!
We have experienced postpartum women’s therapists at RelationshipStore in Burr Ridge, IL. We also offer telehealth throughout the state of Illinois. Please contact us to get scheduled with a postpartum depression therapist. If you are out of state, please reach out for support that is local to you. You don’t have to go through this life transition alone.
If you are feeling suicidal or are in crisis, please call or text the National Suicide Hotline at 988.
